There is an opening scene from a fairly popular TV show (that I don’t like so I will not advertise by name) where a superhero that has the power of super-speed is racing to his next destination, pays no regard to his surroundings, strikes an innocent civilian on the side of the road, and kills them on impact. Gruesome picture right? Well, that is the first image that came to mind as I reflected on my thought life in recent months.
I have been able to slow down, but instead, I have pushed the speed of thought to unsafe thresholds. I have rushed past the mile markers of reflection and remembrance. If I am not careful I could accidentally strike the innocent bystander on the road, the bystander that probably also represents “me”.
Many of us find ourselves in this state of being these days more often than we might care to admit. I am unsure if it is the season of the year and how the holidays, responsibilities, purchases, and bills all stack upon each other from October through the end of the calendar year. It could be the pace of life as we age; I am certain that time has moved faster and years have grown shorter these past few years as compared to my teens and twenties. Truly, it could be a unique experience for myself and a few of the readers of this post (if you can relate just know that you have found a compatriot in me). Either way, we have found ourselves victims of chronically noisy and racing minds.
For my part, as I forced myself to slow down my thoughts, I began to wonder what within me had been driving this pace. I may not yet be to the end of this revelation, but there was one culprit of note: Fear.
Fear of facing loss. The fear of thinking at length about my mother, who we lost almost 3 years ago and I wish was still here every day. I fear that if I stop to think about it, one day I may stop remembering exactly what her voice sounded like or her favorite things to say.
Fear of facing the future. The fear of not exactly knowing what is next in life while also admitting that I have a yearning for control that can paralyze me if I am not near 100% privy to the next step. I surrender to the fact that I will have to give that control up to move forward.
Fear of questions that I do not have the complete answers to. When will we have children? What will become of what my wife and I are building for our life work? What is the perfect next step for this newsletter and the personal & professional endeavors that I desire to build alongside it?
Thankfully, I have an opportunity to slow my pace of thought and face these big things fear would rather keep me from this month; and so do you. Whether the noise and traffic in your mind are driven by fear, denial, or unpreparedness, now is the time for reflection and remembering. Now we can establish the pace for this year and see to it that we do not find ourselves in next year before its proper time.
How will you slow down your thoughts and give your mind what it needs this upcoming week? Journaling, Prayer and Meditation, Connection with Friends? Whatever it may be, I just implore you to make it happen.
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