So It Goes...

A few thoughts inspired by milestone birthdays

I’ve had so many things that I have wanted to say over the past couple of months while I was intentionally away from writing, and now that I am sitting here with my fingers on the keyboard… I have nothing. Nevertheless, so it goes…

I am days away from my 40th birthday (July 28th is my day!), and something about milestone birthdays forces you to think deeply about all the simple things related to birthdays.

Gifts

As I get older, I realize that the nature of the gifts I desire has changed significantly. As a teenager, I would ask my parents for gaming systems, signature basketball shoes, or my first cell phone. There is no way I could afford those items on a meager salary of whatever my allowance was at the time. At this stage of my life, I still want the gaming system, nice shoes (& watch), or the most recent iPad, but I can buy those things for myself. This year, the gift that I asked for was for God to affirm and clarify my passion, pleasures, pains, and purpose. At age 40, this was the gift that I desired. There is no way that I could acquire and appreciate those gifts apart from my Creator. I started a note on my phone to write down what God would share concerning these categories this month. The gifts I desire these days are not as expensive, but their value is priceless. I believe this trend of lower-cost, higher-value gifts continues as we age. I asked God for this a little over a month ago and will update you on what He says.

Friends

A previous milestone birthday that stands out was when I turned 21. Perhaps I am romanticizing the day but it felt like we partied throughout the day and into the night. During the day, my parents and older sister hosted a house party at our apartment with so many of my closest friends and acquaintances from church, school, and basketball. My mom and sister cooked a ton of food, to the delight of a score of college students with bottomless stomachs all undoubtedly plotting on how to procure a to-go plate. At night, I remember hanging out with my closest friends doing the PG-13 version of whatever college-aged young men do on milestone birthdays (after all, some of us did have basketball workouts scheduled the next morning).

For this birthday, I will spend the weekend quietly with my closest friend Erica. We will take a day trip out of town to a city we mutually enjoy, come back, and spend my actual birthday doing a few intentionally planned activities together that will ensure the day is what it needs to be. It will be amazing and fun with the person I enjoy the most. In full transparency, I imagine a scenario where I have a few close friends who live close to me with whom I could share a portion of the day, but establishing resilient and vibrant adult friendships is difficult. Although it might be challenging, I know it is an undertaking worth pursuing. I do not consider myself a great “friend” as much of what it takes does not seem to come naturally, but I am willing to learn what that looks like for me. I have another decade before my next milestone birthday so I look forward to following up on how this all goes around that time.

Family

Recently, I have had a recurring desire to learn more about my family. For so long, I have mentally classified my family primarily as the immediate members that were there every day: Dad, Mom, and my sister. Around 5 years ago, my family expanded to include my wife, Erica. A little over 3 years ago, my family shrank again with the loss of my mother, Annice. However, lately, I have been really thinking about my Family, I mean like the whole tree. What kind of people are we? Where did we come from? Where are we now?

My best understanding of what is going on within me is partly tied to the concept of legacy. As Erica and I look to grow our immediate family in this season, I have been thinking more about what type of people they will be. Perhaps, in my own way, I am trying to correlate that to the type of people they will come from. I understand that development is both causation and correlation, and I believe that I am gathering as much generational data as I can to further explain “me” to myself. (I don’t know if that makes sense to any of you reading this, but I understand what I am trying to say, lol.)

On the most recent Amazon Prime Day, I purchased an AncestryDNA kit to begin to gather some of the insights that might be helpful (or at least interesting) for this type of work. We will see what comes of it if anything at all, but I am already excited about some of what I have found.

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Each time I think about the reality that I will be 40 in just a few days, it floors me. I am completely humbled by the grace of God that I would be fortunate enough to see it and enjoy it. That same Lord that is my strength is also my joy. There is a verse that has stayed with me for some time and God has highlighted it for this specific occasion.

“The Lord is my strength and my song; He has become my salvation. This is my God, and I will praise him; my father’s God, and I will exalt Him. The Lord is a warrior; The Lord is His name.” - Exodus 15:2-3

I suppose that I did have a few things to say today. So it goes…

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