Going into my senior year of college at Florida State University, four of my closest friends and I started a non-profit organization named “Man Up! Inc.”. Under the umbrella of “Man UP!” we pursued many different projects mainly focused around event promotion for the purpose of volunteer mobilization among college-aged students. We had a very simple creed:
“Love people, not crowds. Build relationships, not barriers. Inspire Humility, not ego. Make disciples. Lead, labor, listen, and love.”
Not bad for a group of 20-something black men attempting to figure things out, hoping to add something of value to our corner of the world, and undoubtedly making many mistakes along the way. There was one project in particular that holds a special place for all of us that were a part of the Man Up! team, the “Haiti: Revive Tour”. In early 2010, Haiti had been devastated by several catastrophic earthquakes that left a death toll in the hundreds of thousands with an estimated 250,000 buildings (both residential & commercial) collapsed or severely damaged. If the magnitude of that damage were not enough to drive us into some type of responsive action, the fact that two core members of our leadership team were of Haitian descent certainly brought the lasting impact of such a colossal tragedy closer to home for us. We knew that in comparison to the scope of the damage and pain suffered that we could not do much, but we also knew that should act in whatever small way that we could. With the help of World Vision, some amazing musicians, and ministry partners, we were resourced and equipped to host a concert series and tour and huge volunteerism effort that would spread across college campuses throughout the Southeast and raise thousands of dollars that would go directly to the aid of those in Haiti looking to recover dignity and hope from the rubble. After years of doing several local and regional projects, this would be our most significant (in scale) undertaking to that point as a team.
Working alongside World Vision as a regional partner for this project, one of our teams responsibilities was to take the lead on resourcing our volunteer team leaders who would be coordinating volunteer efforts at their local campuses. While on the hunt for a few specific resources, a good friend and I found ourselves at a Lifeway Christian bookstore on a beautiful and clear Saturday.
For the purposes of this quick story, let me tell you a bit more about this good friend of mine. We knew each other from college and community service projects. We had been a part of the same service leadership program our freshman year; and as two of the only black guys in that program, we almost had an obligation to become fast friends. As the years would pass, we would remain connected although we operated in our separate lanes; he pursued student government and I pursued basketball, but we had service in common. A proclaimed agnostic, he had taken an interest in the work that we had been doing with Man Up! although he admittedly had no need for the “Christian” part of what we did, until that spring of 2010 (nearly 8 years into our friendship). Something had softened his heart to hearing more about Christianity and Christ, the beauty of the Bible, and why I believed it was the actual Word of God. He would ask questions, sometimes I would have answers, but always we would have engaging and rich conversations. He was compelled by the self-sacrificing love of the One that I had referred to in our conversations as my “Savior”. After all this time as friends and several conversations with those that planted and watered, God was bringing about the increase. He texted me that day and said that He wanted to purchase his first Bible and he needed my help because he didn’t know where to start. I was already scheduled to head to the Christian bookstore that week anyway, so why not turn two trips into one - the perfect scenario.
We knew what we were looking for, so we had two objectives for this visit: find my friend his first physical Bible, and learn from someone how to go about bulk orders/pricing for the resources we needed for the volunteers that Man Up! would be supporting. In order to make the most of my friend’s first visit into a Christian bookstore, I remember us taking a detour at his request from those two objectives to check out the listening stations that featured some newly released Christian/Gospel music. I had grown up around faith-based music so there was little mystique to it for me, but I could imagine someone who had never listened to (or previously desired to listen to) such content marveling at the concept of Christian and Gospel music. That said, we both put on some of the store-supplied over the ear headphones to listen to some of the featured music selections. What followed was an interesting interaction with the store clerk, who hurried away from the other potential customers that he was helping to come to our aid, that went something like this:
Store Clerk: *motioning at the headphones, imploring us to give him our attention* “Hey guys, we don’t have any rap music here…”
Me: *confused* “wow, ok that’s cool, we figured… but, we found a few songs we wanted to hear anyway”
Store Clerk: “well, we don’t have many Gospel or other types of options here either, we don’t carry much music…”
My Friend: *looking at the rows and rows of CDs, slightly bewildered* “I was just looking to see if there was anything I would like. We’re just looking around for now, thanks”
Store Clerk: “sooooo… what are you guys looking for? I’d rather just help you find it now so I can get back to my paying customers over there, we were having a conversation.”
Me: *catching on to what was happening, and taking off headphones* “Oh, we’re actually paying customers too, to be honest we came to look at a couple of your books and Bibles”
Store Clerk: *with an assumptive shade of doubt* “Really… well which book are you looking for? And the Bibles aren’t anywhere in this section!”
Me: *provides the name of the two books* “we were looking to get a few copies of those, because I am actually buying for…”
Store Clerk: *jumping in presumptuously before I could finish that sentence* “well, I don’t think we have those...”
Me: *annoyed as we had already seen a full endcap display of one of the titles* “oh, gotcha, well nevermind… we can look someplace else, thanks”
Store Clerk: “no problem… oh, and I hate to be this guy, but can I check to see if you guys have any merchandise on you before you leave, I’ve heard of a few store thefts in this area recently”
Me: “uhhh…no. we don’t have any bags or jackets or anything to hide a whole CD or book in dude… all I’ve got on me is my wallet. No one is going to let you search them for some stolen $15 CDs and Bibles”
My Friend: “Right… and you don’t have any rap in here anyway, remember?”
Store Clerk: *apparently confused by our ‘aggressive’ reaction* “hey, I’m not looking for any trouble, I just wanted to ask you myself because I wouldn’t want to call the police for something small like that”
With that, we exited. My friend was irate and confused. I was embarrassed and wondering. Wondering, what about us gave off potential theft threat, other than us both being under 30 years old and black men? How could he have assumed that in a store full of potential patrons, that we were the ones that posed the greatest risk. Shouldn’t a Christian store of all places be the safest and most welcoming space to wander and wonder? After this incident, there were emails to the Lifeway corporate office, a rather corporate apology along with an affirmation that they still of course wanted our business and would give the store manager a stern notice of this behavior (although it was the store manager who exhibited this poor and presumptive behavior in the first place). We were encouraged to still process our bulk order with them as they would look to “take care of us” for our trouble. We didn’t. We couldn’t. Honestly, I couldn’t. Personally, I have done everything I can in the years since to avoid giving any of my money to that specific company. As powerless as I might have felt in that moment, I knew that the power I maintained was the power of the purse - perhaps the only power that means anything to organizations once they reach a certain size and reputation.
Sadly, the most damaging fruit of that interaction is that a “first” Bible was not purchased that day. I remember my friend and I talking through it, but the moment had passed and the damage had been done. His desire to learn more about God was temporarily impacted in a negative way by the ones who claim to represent Him. He said that he would probably give it another try on another day but perhaps this was a sign that this lifestyle was not for him and likely just an intellectual interest, nothing more. Shortly afterwards, my career would cause me to move away and we would fall out of contact for a few years. Although I would learn that my friend would eventually come to faith in Jesus in due time, I was disheartened by the incongruence between what the man in the Lifeway store claimed to represent and who he actually was. The truest values of an entity are often inferred from it’s representatives, for better or for worse. This was true of Lifeway for me, and true of Christ for my friend. It is also true for whatever or whoever it is that you and I represent as well.
Fortunately, there is a better way: “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” (Galatians 5:22-23)
These things will not always be easy, but it still is pretty simple.